It's all about being Happy

Sunday, 5 August 2018


In a society that's filled with hatred and prejudice, divided between the two extremes, keeping a smile on your face with a jovial sincerity must be difficult. The image-obsessiveness we've gained from the snapping scrutiny we receive from social media as well as the pressure to fit into the standards of society has abstained us from self-love and true happiness.

From my observations and self-revelations, I've come to realize that happiness doesn't stem from being Mister or Miss Perfect: surrounded by perfectly outgoing friends, flexing the ideal body, being in a relationship, and overall living in a constant positive environment. Like the concept of beauty, happiness is subjective and people find all sorts of way to define it.

Growing up, I thought perfection was the key to happiness - and so I would always perfect the way I looked, how I acted, how I spoke, and I micro-managed every detail of myself to appear perfect. It's how I defined happiness. Perfection, to me, was defined by a "hot body" and the perfect way of talking, the charming and humorous personality and the innate ability to be sociable. I often compared myself to the likes of successful celebrities and wealthy models with perfect cheekbones and slim bodies. I wanted to be that, and then I'd be happy.

Unfortunately, I was born as me. An awkward and clumsy girl who grew up in a suburban town in the UK, with a lack of ability to make friends and who has a lisp and a voice that cracks when I'm nervous. I have dark armpits and stretch marks on my hips and a protruding belly that I became so insecure about that I never wore bikinis. I have a big giant forehead and a round baby-looking face that's covered in redness and acne. I have small breasts, wide shoulders, and I'm not tall enough to be considered a model. This is me. But I've slowly come to encompass that.

I decided to share aspects of my appearance that are considered 'flaws', to remind you that people are not Barbie or Ken dolls with perfect skins and perfect lives. I felt that most of the unhappiness within the youth mainly comes from insecurities. Instagram and the fashion industry have imposed a delusional idea of what perfection is supposed to be, which I believe leads to the sad loss of self-love and genuine happiness in people.

I used to be unhappy with myself because of how I wasn't like the pretty women I see on my phone; how I looked and how I turned out to be as a person. But, it took a while for me to recognize the beauty and value of who I am. That my deadpanness and sarcasm revealed my British upbringing, my bulging belly showed that I'm healthy and eating well, and my face filled with baby fat reminisces the features of our heritage. I slowly but progressively walked the path of self-discovery, love, and happiness.

So here's a lesson for all of you who struggle loving themselves: don't allow the toxicity of social media and the ideals it imposes dictate your perception of yourself. Continue to look at yourself in the mirror to admire and idolize the person staring back, rather than shaming it for not fitting a certain template - because you are unique! You are beautiful! And you are worth it!

For me, I came to learn that happiness always starts with self-love. Before loving another person, or striving for your goal, or doing anything else, love yourself first. It may not be easy at the beginning, but life isn't easy; emotion, anger, and sadness are inevitable in every journey, so embrace your tears and angry outbursts.

I hope this has inspired you to start or continue your journey of self-love. Putting yourself first is more important than anything else.

Join the conversation!

  1. The round baby-looking face resonated with me so much! It's like my face consists mostly of my cheeks ever since. But then I'm learning to accept and love it more now, and to just be fine with it, because this is me. We don't know how we are perceived by other people after all, and maybe it isn't so bad as we think it is. It's not easy to love ourselves especially when self-doubt creeps in, but we should continue doing our best anyway, because it is always worth it to invest in ourselves first and foremost, then everything else will follow. Thank you so much for writing this, Nicole! :)

    http://helloannajo.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you so much, Anna! I'm so glad you enjoyed reading and related to it :D
      Also, rather than being completely selfish and putting yourself forward all the time, we should all work together in encouraging and promoting self-love <3

      - nicole

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  2. EVERYONE needs to read this post RIGHT NOW. <333 Thank you for writing this. Thank you for speaking the truth.

    xx Kenzie

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    1. Thank you so much asdfghnjfmos it was a lil difficult for me to share things about me I wasn't comfortable talking about, but the love and support has been beyond has made me love myself even more! So thank you so much, Kenzie!!! <3

      - nicole xoxo

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  3. When I was still active on social media, I was so insecure with all my flaws and every time I'd look in the mirror, I'd notice what I lack instead of how blessed I am that I am beautiful on my own way. I'm still dealing with my insecurities but not as much as compared before. Thanks to minimalism! I was able to lessen my social media use and look on what matters most.

    Great read, btw! :)

    Augustin Ra | Indie Spirit

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Thank you all for your lovely comments :) I will get back to most of you as soon as possible, so make sure you are checking back x

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